[]

we never tried so it never began i
needed you to say whether or not i should have been
working harder or if you wanted me or if you did not
listen to something louder
and find tongue and hinges and peel the skin back
your muscles our muscles like toys beneath the surface
red one pumps black mass sold
everything you [...]

[]

a dozen or so wrinkled papers are yellowing on walls and commemorate moments long gone
to do today: find new memories, or craft them with your hands, like clay
figure shit out, maybe not once and for all, but to an extent, maybe just for today and tomorrow, and then begin to approach it with a wider [...]

An accident

I’ve never much cared for family gatherings, in part because we have such a pitifully small family, but also because they’re usually boring as all hell. On top of that, dad’s Aunt Greta is a bad gift-giver and a worse cook, his Uncle Henry is annoying and can never refrain from telling me his weirdo [...]

Things Seen

don’t know why i hadn’t done it before, but this page now has all of my 35mm photographs.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/this_party_is_on_fire/
this features mostly the same photographs, but presented individually. maybe sometimes i’ll write something on there, too. maybe not, though.
http://philrudich.tumblr.com

On music

What’s this song about, anyway?
I don’t know. It’s hard to say for sure. Probably fucking. Most songs are about fucking. This one probably isn’t any different.

Work

I’ve got high hopes!
he said
Well cut that shit out, or you’re gonna be late for work.
she said

Under Duress

It was not a night for sleep. Of this much he was certain. Why else would he still be awake as the clock struck four in the morning, arguably the first hour after midnight that actually feels something like morning, even though it’s maybe the darkest, most lonely hour of the day. He tried, sure. [...]

Ugly Timeshare

Lonely, ugly men sometimes need things specifically for themselves, and when they do, those things are often acquired with an acute awareness of their own loneliness and ugliness. Sidney Tobin was such a man. A lonely, ugly man neck-deep in despair and forever caught up in his own shortcomings, of which he had so many. [...]

Dog

“Mary, I feel terrible.” Mary was reading a fashion magazine. She did not hear me. She usually didn’t, but that hardly stopped me from moving in with her. Her utter ignorance of my existence didn’t stop me from getting down on one knee and proposing to her in a very expensive and popular Asian-fusion bistro. [...]

Dr Jimes Tooper and Dr H Donna Gust

the time it takes to get from one star to another star…you need to travel at the speed of light. and us humans can’t even fathom the concept of that kind of time…’cause it’s really really really really really really really really fun…to think about taking a speed of light ride.